I have observed something that has been repeated over a long time by many people. We typically are quick to speak. How many times have you seen or been involved in a one sided conversation that looks more like a hostage situation than a conversation? Nobody likes being the “hostage” or unheard person in these conversations. This is why it is important to make sure that we are not guilty of kidnapping a conversation.
This is important for everyone to learn, but especially for those who teach or lead in some capacity. We are quick to teach. We are so used to teaching and pouring into others that it just spills out of us. This is a good quality, but if we don’t stop to listen we may drown those who are present. They may have something valuable to contribute, or they may simply need someone to hear them. Yet we can become so consumed with being the one who speaks that they never get the chance.
As it says in James 1:19 “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.” We often focus on being slow to wrath, yet may neglect being swift to hear and slow to speak. And we know that even a fool is considered wise if he keeps his mouth shut and listens (Proverbs 17:28). So it is imperative that we listen.
We want to share our input so much sometimes that we don’t slow down enough to listen or even pay attention that someone else is trying to speak. This can cause the one who is now forced to listen instead of contributing to stop listening. We can be busy talking, but we are teaching with our actions. We are teaching that we know more than the other can contribute and do not think that what they have to say is important. This in turn causes them to feel unimportant which makes them not want to listen.
We read in 2 Timothy 2:24: “And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient”. I think we often read this as quick to teach, but that is not what it means. In the biblical context, being “apt to teach” is a matter of skill and character rather than speed; it does not mean being “quick to teach,” but rather being prepared and patient. Before one can effectively instruct others, they must first master the discipline of being a student, embodying the command to be swift to hear and slow to speak. This spiritual readiness is captured in Jesus’ frequent call, “He that hath ears to hear, let him hear,” which emphasizes that true teaching only flows from a heart that has first learned to listen deeply to God’s truth and one who has a heart to listen to others. By prioritizing listening over rushing to speak, a servant of the Lord ensures they are “rightly dividing” the word rather than merely offering hasty opinions.
We must ask ourselves if our need to be heard is revealing that we value being seen as wise more than actually loving people. Jesus, though possessing all wisdom, was never rushed to speak. He listened to cries, questions, and hearts. Those who lead must remember that influence is not measured only by how much we say, but by how well we hear. I have at times heard more said with a smile or a hug than with words spoken. So let’s pause before responding and notice when others are trying to speak.
Let’s ask questions before giving answers. And above all let’s value souls more than sounding wise.
Psalm 141:3 KJV
Set a watch, O Lord, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips.
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