I was privy to a conversation between coworkers once that played out quite humorously. A couple of guys were discussing something about a process where I work. Another guy caught part of the conversation and began to disagree with them and try to correct them. They said something that made him say, “wait, what exactly were yall talking about?” He then admitted his mistake as he and they were talking about different points of the process. I said to him, “You were ready to die on that hill weren’t you?” He replied, “I was dying on that hill.”
This was a simple misunderstanding that could have escalated if one person didn’t stop, ask a question, then admit he was wrong. Have you ever met that person that just couldn’t admit that they were wrong? I’m sure you have, as have I. A harder question to answer is have you ever been that person? We do not like being wrong and we definitely don’t like admitting it.
Unfortunately when someone is wrong and can’t bring themselves to admit it they often begin to find fault in the other person or place blame somewhere else. We see this in the very beginning of the Bible. Adam and Eve disobeyed God and were confronted with their sin Adam said, The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat. And the Lord God said unto the woman, What is this that thou hast done? And the woman said, The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat (Genesis 3:12-13 KJV). Adam instead of admitting his own fault blamed his wife and God in the same breath. Then Eve in turn blames the serpent. I wonder how this may have played out differently if Adam would have just admitted his sin at first.
You see though how quick we are to shift the blame? Now you may think you are not guilty of this, but just like Adam how often is it our spouse that we cannot admit we are wrong to? How many conversations have you been in with your spouse that you just can’t accept the blame. In your mind if the relationship has problems that it is coming from your partner and not you. Quick check, when you read that did you immediately think, “that sounds just like them?” If you did, you are shifting blame even without them present. You can’t even admit in your mind that you might possibly be wrong. Step back and realize none of us are perfect and we all mess up, including you. We can’t truly fix relationships in our lives until we are willing to accept that we might be the problem.
Now yours might not be a marital issue. It may be that you are experiencing this with others in your life. This in itself can be a problem, but ultimately it will creep into every relationship that you have. This includes your relationship with God. Just like Adam we can get to where we don’t accept that we are at fault. We may get to where we don’t accept correction from God. If we hear the preacher preaching a message against something and never self apply and look within to see how we might be at fault we can find ourselves in danger of this.
In 1 Samuel 15, King Saul is commanded by God to completely destroy the Amalekites and all their livestock, but he partially obeys by sparing King Agag and the best of the animals. When the prophet Samuel confronts him, Saul initially insists he has obeyed, then pivots to blaming his soldiers for keeping the livestock for sacrifices. Samuel famously rebukes him, stating that “to obey is better than sacrifice,” and informs Saul that God has rejected him as king due to his rebellion and arrogance. Though Saul eventually admits his sin, his primary concern remains his public reputation rather than true repentance, leading to a permanent rift between him and Samuel and the tragic end of his divine mandate. Unlike my coworker who realized he was on the wrong hill and stepped down, King Saul tried to build a monument to himself on his.
You see, any of us can fall into this trap. We can blame others and look for the faults that they have trying to highlight theirs, while using a sharpie to cover ours.
Remember what Jesus said in Matthew 7:3-5 (NIV) Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.
Remember all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). So when you want to use a magnifying glass to examine someone else’s faults, make sure to swap it for a mirror. And when confronted with something make sure to truly examine yourself and ask for God’s help in this to see if you are at fault.
Psalm 139:23-24 KJV
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts:
24 And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
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