We figured out something about our 2 year old son Levi one day. He did something to his brother and his Mama told him to apologize. He would hug him and try to play, but he did not want to apologize. For 5 minutes my wife sat there with him until he finally apologized to Isaac. Weeks later his cousin, Kidron, was watching him for us. He did something and she told him, “no, we don’t do that.” She said a few minutes later he came to her and said, “I sorry.” He had begun to learn the importance of apologizing.
Like Levi, we don’t like admitting when we’re wrong. We want people to come to us and apologize when they have wronged us, but we do not like apologizing. We may not mind coming to God with our faults and failures. Coming to each other is a different story altogether.
The problem with that is what we read in James 5:16 (KJV) confess your faults one to another. Sometimes these faults are the ones that we have committed against the person that we’re confessing to. We have to go to the person that we offended and apologize. Whoever that person may be, friends, spouses, children, parents, coworkers, etc.
Let’s read what Jesus said in Matthew 5:23-24 (NET) So then, if you bring your gift to the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother and then come and present your gift. This gift was a sign of worship and sacrifice. Jesus was saying before you come and worship, before you offer a sacrifice, fix your relationship. Notice also that He didn’t say if you have something against your brother, but rather if your brother has something against you. This means that your brother is offended and you have to make amends.
What if they come to you and tell you that you have offended them? This may hit even a little harder. Because what we dislike more than admitting that we are wrong willfully is being told that we were wrong. Jesus said if your brother does wrong to you, go, make clear to him his error between you and him in private: if he gives ear to you, you have got your brother back again (Matthew 18:15 BBE). We always like to put ourselves in the place of the one that was offended. What if we are the offender though? What if someone comes to us and tells us that we offended them? Are we big enough to accept that we messed up and admit our fault? Can you ask for forgiveness when we are told that we were wrong?
I know these are not words that most want to hear even though they are true. I know that they may even sting and cause us to want to defend ourselves. Instead why don’t we swallow our pride and apologize.
Ephesians 4:32 KJV And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.